Thursday, December 18, 2008

Good Grief!

Here at Chez Wheedleton, we have one Christmas tree all decorated with a hodge-podge of ornaments and sprinkled liberally with multi-colored lights. It's a nod to my own childhood Christmases, when we always had a freshly cut white pine tree covered in multi-colored lights with big, fat bulbs...and one string always had a blinker bulb in it. 

We have another Christmas tree all decorated nice and pretty and sprinkled liberally with lovely white lights. It's a new addition this year - a peace offering to my husband C, who has been pleading with the kiddos and I for years to have a non-garish, sophisticated tree for once. 

We have yet another Christmas tree. But this one is teeny - our "Charlie Brown Tree" that I've had ever since my college dorm room days. (I know. More nostalgia. What can I say? It's Christmas!) 

In addition to our tree collection, we also have some piney garland wound around the staircase rails, all twirled up in twinkling white lights (another concession to C).

You would think it smells like an evergreen forest in here. But no. Every last bit of Christmas greenery in Chez Wheedleton is artificial, imitation, synthetic, replica, faux, other words: fake. I make no apologies. We have fake trees and fake greenery for two reasons: A. We're allergic to most every plant that grows on God's green earth, and B. I can't stand going around and picking up the dropped pine needles that get tracked all over the house.

Reason A has appropriately justified our artificialness: our natural-tree-free abode has afforded us the luxury of avoiding the Allergy Two-Step of sniffly noses and itchy, watery eyes all through the Christmas season. 

However, Reason B has not appropriately justified our artificialness, because as it turns out, fake evergreens shed needles just as much as the real deal. Who knew? Obviously not me. (I bet those fake tree makers have a good giggle over it, too.)

And now, you must excuse me. I have some pine needles to pick up.