Of Parts and Purpose

"You know, machines never have any extra parts. They have the exact number and type of parts they need. So I figure if the entire world is a big machine, I have to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too."

       - Hugo Cabret (character)
         The Invention of Hugo Cabret, by Brian Selznick
          p. 378 

Fits and Giggles with Quotes

I do love a funny quote. And when I find one, I scribble it down in a notebook, scratch it out on a stray bill envelope, or write it quick on the back of a grocery receipt - whatever's handy. Today, I gathered up the bits and pieces, so I could share a few with you:

"I've got to talk to M'Lynn about her husband. He is a boil on the butt of humanity!"

     - Ouiser, Steel Magnolias

"You're about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop!"

     - Patches O'Houlihan, Dodgeball

"Your family is better than cable."

     - Lilly, Hannah Montana

"One morning I  shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."

     - Captain Spaulding, Animal Crackers

"Oh, you in trouble, Dum-Dum. You better run-run. From Attila the Hun-hun!"

     - Easter Island Head, Night at the Museum

"When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side."

     - Harry Burns, When Harry Met Sally

"You know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always puts a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?"

     -Chandler, Friends

And now, I'll end with a little snippet of dialogue, because everybody needs a little Spongebob in their life:

SQUIDWARD: Would you not stand so close? I'm getting claustrophobic.

PATRICK: What does "closterphobic" mean?

SPONGEBOB: It means he's afraid of Santa Claus!

SQUIDWARD: No it doesn't!

PATRICK: HO HO HO!

SPONGEBOB: Stop it, Patrick. You're scaring him!

PATRICK: HO HO HO!

     - Spongebob Squarepants

Now go on and have a hilarious, giggle-filled day!

A Life Lesson

Words of wisdom from Harriet M. Welsch's spy notebook (as quoted from Harriet the Spy, by Louise Fitzhugh):

"OLE GOLLY SAYS THERE IS AS MANY WAYS TO LIVE AS THERE ARE PEOPLE ON THE EARTH AND I SHOULDN'T GO ROUND WITH BLINDERS BUT SHOULD SEE EVERY WAY I CAN. THEN I'LL KNOW WHAT WAY I WANT TO LIVE AND NOT JUST LIVE LIKE MY FAMILY."

Fight Procrastination Day...

...is celebrated every year on the first Wednesday in September. To mark the occasion, I offer these quotes on the art of, shall we say, postponing action:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

       - Mark Twain

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

       - Douglas Adams

Now, it would be entirely appropriate - not to mention timely - for me to write a post all about how to fight procrastination.

But I think I'll do it later.

Of Fathers and Fatherhood

I watched August Rush for the first time last night. If you haven't seen it, get it and watch it. You will come away with a new appreciation for both childhood and parenthood, and all the ups and downs and twists and turns that go with both. 

With Father's Day coming up, that movie got me to thinking about fatherhood, and how sometimes a man chooses it, and sometimes a man stumbles upon it. Either way, what matters most is not how he came to be a father. What matters most is how he chooses to live up to that awesome responsibility. 

So, I did a little web surfing tonight, and found some other thoughts on fatherhood:

"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was."

     - Anne Sexton

"Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance."

     - Ruth E. Renkel

"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."

     - Clarence B. Kelland

"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong."

     - Charles Wadsworth

"What a father says to his children is not heard by the world, but it will be heard by posterity."

     - Jean Paul Richter

"It is a wise father that knows his own child."

     - William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

"It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him. 

     - Mark Twain

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person. He believed in me."

     - Jim Valvano

"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love the most is soap-on-a-rope."

     - Bill Cosby

"A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be."

     - Frank A. Clark

"To become a father is not hard. To be a father is, however."

     - Wilhelm Busch

"My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys."

     - Harmon Killebrew

"It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons."

     - Johann Schiller

Finally, I'll end with this bit of practical advice:

Quote from Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968:

"Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again."

     

Can I Quote You on That?

When I was in elementary school, some friends and I had this club. We called it the Laughy Ho Ho's. (With a name like that, it had to be a riot, right? And, oh, it was, in our youthful opinions.) We did try, though, to have these super-serious club meetings at one of our houses. Early on in the process, before we surrendered to our hopelessly giggly natures, someone had to stand in front of the group and ceremoniously read from this brick of a book that my best friend found on her parents' bookshelf. It was full of nothing but quotations.  Funny ones. Thoughtful ones. Noble ones. You name the quote, and it was probably contained somewhere within those myriad pages. Though I don't remember the quotes we used, I do remember thinking those recitations lent some level of decorum to our otherwise silly proceedings.

Whether as a direct result of those meetings, or for some other reason I can't fathom, I like to collect quotes I find particularly meaningful, or funny, or both. For example:

                                   ***

"I say, when life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add some lemons of your own!"

- Calvin (of Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes comics)

                                    ***

Sometimes I find them already in quote form, and think, ahhh, someone has read my mind. Where's my pen?  

Sometimes I pull the quote myself from something I've read, or a show I've seen, and think, I gotta get this down! Where's my pen? 

And sometimes, quotes bubble to the surface organically, straight from the horse's mouth, and I think, Holey Cow! I need a pen! Hurry! Hurry!

I'll leave you with three quotes I find quite powerful. Read them, if you will. Let them rattle around in your brain a bit. 

                                  *** 

"It's nonsense to think that being a role model is

something that the person who is seen as a role

model can control. The people elevate you to that

level, so it's almost involuntary. But one day you

realize you've been elevated. Sometimes it's by

five students in your class. Sometimes it's by your

children. And sometimes it's by 50 million people,

because you're really good a putting a ball in a 

hole. But it doesn't matter - once they elevate

you, it's your job to behave in a way that will

never leave you responsible for bad things that

happen to them.

- John Amaechi, as interviewed in The Penn Stater Magazine

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed

by the things that you didn't do than the ones you did

do... Explore. Dream. Discover."

- Mark Twain

"You must remember this: You're braver than you  

believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter

than you think."

- Christopher Robin, speaking to Winnie-the-Pooh

***

Any reaction to these? Leave me a comment, below. And, if you have some favorite quotes of your own, please share those as well. I'm always on the lookout for new "finds" for my collection!