I'm only speeding 'cause I really have to poop.
Not so close! I'm not that kind of car.
Well. That was fun. But short.
So I turned to the web to see if I could find a few more to add to my collection (until our next road trip), and it did not disappoint:
Isn't a smoking area in a restaurant like a peeing area in a swimming pool?
It's not how you pick your nose but where you put the booger.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Cannibals won't eat clowns...They taste funny.
"Reintarnation:" Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Come to the dark side. We have cookies!
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
I child-proofed my house but they still get in.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
What I really need are minions.
And there it is - my fledgling List of Vehicular Words of Wisdom. If you've come across any bumper stickers that gave you a chuckle - and remember, family show here - drop me a comment and tell me all about it, so I can add it to the collection.