So, On Account o' Today Bein' Pig Callers Day...

I bring you a gen-yew-ine, bonafide champeen circa 2008, with a bit of a twist on the typical:

June 11th is King Kamehameha Day!

If you're lucky enough to be anywhere in Hawaii today, then you get to party on through the festivities of King Kamehameha Day, and you're having a fabulous time! If you're not lucky enough to be anywhere in Hawaii today (like me), well, then you and I can live vicariously as I tell you all about what we're missing.

King Kamehameha Day is celebrated annually in Hawaii on June 11th, to honor the life and times of its greatest statesman, warrior, and king, known as Kamehameha the Great.

Some interesting historical facts on the day

• King Kamehameha Day was established by royal decree of the ruling great-grandson, Kamehameha V, in 1871, and first celebrated on June 11, 1872.
• It is one of the first holidays proclaimed by the Governer of Hawaii and the State Legislature upon Hawaii's transformation to statehood in 1959.
• King Kamehameha Day is the only holiday in the United States created to honor a once-reigning monarch in the only state that was once a kingdom.
• 2009 marks the 137th anniversary of the celebration of King Kamehameha Day.

Who was King Kamehameha?

At the time of his birth, Hawaiians believed Kamehameha fulfilled the traditional prophesy that there would be a male born who would vanquish all other chiefs, becoming the greatest of all Hawaiian chiefs, and that the sign of his birth would be a comet. Kamehameha's actual birthdate is not specifically known, but is sometimes listed as between 1748 and 1761, and some believe it was 1758 - a year that Halley's Comet was visible from Hawaii.

He spent his childhood being trained in warfare skills and preparing for the role of warrior-king of the Island of Hawaii. He went on to use these skills as the first king to unify the Hawai'ian Islands: Ni'ihau, Kaua'i, O'ahu, Moloka'i, Lānaʻi, Kaho'olawe, Maui, and Hawai'i. Once this was achieved, Kamehameha ruled in peace for the rest of his life: establishing trade with foreign countries, introducing new plant and animal life, promoting agriculture, and fostering industry. He was known as the "Napoleon of the Pacific" for his achievements in warfare and diplomacy, and died in 1819.

King Kamehameha Day Festivities

The earliest observances of the day included various competitions: horse racing, Velocipede races, sack races, wheelbarrow races, and foot races. In 1901, the tradition of the lei draping ceremony was added, where statues of King Kamehameha are decorated with leis.

In 1939, the King Kamehameha Celebration Commission was established and charged with organizing and running all festival activities. Today, those activities include:

• The traditional lei draping ceremony of King Kamehameha's statues
• The King Kamehameha Hula Competition, which has gained international attention
• The floral parades held at many locations throughout Hawaii, which include what has become a favorite feature: traditional pa'u riders. (The pa'u riders reperesent a royal court let by a queen on horseback, followed by princesses representing the 8 major islands of Hawaii and Molokini.)
• The Ho'olaule'a, which means "celebration," and is a big block party with food and music.
• The cultural exhibits set up throughout Kapi'olani Park, which are full of arts and crafts, games, sports, etc.
• And of course, there are feasts. (What celebration would be complete without those?)

So, if you're there, have a wonderful King Kamehameha Day! And if you're not, start saving your pennies - you have 364 days to pile 'em up so you can get to King Kamehameha Day 2010.

Aloha!

Sources:

Kamehameha Day (Wikipedia)

King Kamehameha Celebration (Library of Congress)

Today is King Kamehameha Day! (NowPublic.com)

Kamehameha I (Wikipedia)

King Kamehameha Day (Boston Globe Sunday Magazine)

Who Knew There Was a Word for THAT?

So, I was Googling around the other day - as I so often do to feed my need for learning about all things weird, wacky, and/or wonderful - and did a search for "funny words." I found some great ones and wish to share, so that you, too, can bulk up your vocabulary. Enjoy!

Hobbledehoy - an awkward, gawky youngster existing somewhere between a man and a boy. Ten points anyone who can find the word describing the female version of this. (Though we females are, in general, a graceful and sophisticated lot, there are those among us - ahem - who harbor a particular fondness for some well-delivered potty humor.)

Borborygmus - the sound of a belly that rumbles. As in, "Jaime's ever-louder borborygmus told his dad he'd better get that mac-n-cheese on the table - and quick."

Pogontrophy - the cultivation of a beard. As in, "Gerald Ottenbein gazed dejectedly at his reflection. His first-ever attempt at pogontrophy was not going at all well."

Tittle - the dot above the letter "i." Really? Who thinks up these things?

Callipygian - having a beautifully shaped behind, as in, "Persistent visits to the gym can help one to attain the callipygian ideal." I'm just not even gonna touch this one...

Defenestration - a noun meaning the throwing of a person or thing out a window. Yes, a person or thing. A friend and regular reader of this blog called my attention to Defenestration.com, where you can read all about a sculpture on the corner of 6th and Howard Street in San Francisco that shows defenestration in action (with things, though, not people). Very interesting, and worth a click - or a real live visit, if you're able.

And the final entry for today:

Floccinaucinihilipilification* - the act of judging something to be worthless. As in, "I find her floccinaucinihilipilification of the pursuit of social status quite refreshing."  According to Wikipedia, floccinaucinihilipilification is listed as "one of the longest words in the English language." And believe it or not, floccinaucinihilipilification can be found in the Oxford English Dictionary as far back as 1741. 

*You know, it's quite fun typing floccinaucinihilipilification. I even tried spelling it with only one "c," to see if Spell Check really has this ridiculously long word in its arsenal, or if my repeated typing of floccinaucinihilipilification just forced it into such a major conniption that it imploded, leaving not so much as a wisp of smoke behind. 

Guess what? Floccinaucinihilipilification is actually in there. 

Cool. 

The Consequences of Childhood Insecurities

I am five feet, nine inches tall. If I were a guy, that would be considered on the short side. Since I'm not a guy, I'm considered to be on the tall side, and have been so since elementary school. Well, except for my junior high years, when the other girls caught up to me for a while. (The junior high years. They're such an anomoly. I wish I could have just skipped them altogether...)

Anyway, if you, too, were on the tall side growing up, you - like me - had to wear floods far more often than your fragile psyche approved of. (You know, floods: pants that were most unfashionably several inches higher than the tops of your shoes.) I was so relieved when the early 80's rolled around, and it became the "it" thing in our school to wear funky striped socks with jeans rolled clear up to our knees. And when the legwarmer-with-jeans thing came into style, well, it was a beautiful thing. In fact, I think capris were invented by tall people who endured the ridicule of having to wear floods during their formative years. 

So, ever since I started making my own way in the world, I've made sure that every single pair of pants I buy comes clear down to the tops of my shoes. And if they actually drag the ground some...even better. And when laundry days come, I stretch every single pair of pants as long as I can every time they come out of the washer, then hang them on a rack to dry. It is the ultimate in flood insurance.

Which brings me to this morning. It's rainy here on the East Coast. Really, really, really rainy. So I pulled on my comfy, well-worn, and impressively long walking-to-the-bus-stop sweatpants, and the kiddos and I dutifully dodged puddles and tiptoed through the minefield of worms that cover the road between home and bus stop. Then I dutifully picked my way back through the puddles and worms as I headed back home. 

As soon as I got in the door, I kicked off my shoes and headed downstairs to grapple yet again with The Little White Insulting Box. After firing everything up, I walked back to stand on the Wii Fit board and looked down for a moment to steel myself against another round of insults, and...

Wait...

What is that?

Well, it seems that fabulously long, flood-insured pants actually do have a bit of a downside: there on the carpet wriggled a very bewildered worm that unwittingly hitched a ride inside Chez Wheedleton courtesy of the hem of my ground-dragging pants.

And I don't care. I will never wear floods again.

Bring it on, worms! 

Friday Funny

For all those Phineas and Ferb fans out there:

You Name It, And Somebody's Probably Put It On a Stick

March 28 is Something on a Stick Day. Seriously. And it seems there's lots of folks out there who especially enjoy their culinary delights presented via stick. As Food-On-A-Stick.com professes: 

"...all food tastes better when it's stick-mounted..."

(It seems the site never quite took off, despite the grand plans described therein, but it's still a great quote, don't you think?) Aaaanyway, in honor of the day, I surfed around some more for a sample of what's out there.

If you're a Do-It-Yourself'er, The Food Network has you covered, with Food on a Stick, an episode from George Duran's Ham on the Street. The online article has links to recipes to make your own food on a stick: Edible Vegetable Skewers, Carmel Apple Pie on a stick, Corn Dog Variations (including Gherkins, baby corn, shrimp, mushrooms, apple slices, pineapple chunks, and hard-boiled eggs). There's even a recipe link for Gnocchi con Polpette di Manzo - and yes, that's on a stick, too.

If you'd rather have someone else serve up the goods, visit the Iowa State Fair, which boasts more than 40 varieties of food on a stick on their website - on its own special page, even: Food On-A-Stick. 

And if you just want to window-shop, then here's a video that's just what you need. It brings you on a virtual tour of the culinary delights of the Minnesota State Fair, whose vendors serve (at the time this video was shot) 59 different varieties of food on a stick, spanning the range of healthy to not so healthy. (Really. There's at least one healthy one in the bunch.) But don't just take my word for it:

One last note: the Minnesota State Fair is held annually over Labor Day weekend, so if you think you'd like try any of these culinary delights for yourself, you might wanna mark your calendars...and don't forget to pack your stretchy pants.

Divine Intervention - Or, The Universe Has Seen Fit to Mess With Me Yet Again

I haven't worked out for about a month. Long story, but I haven't. So anyway, I decided today to try to get back into some semblance of a normal routine. I pulled on some sweats, grabbed my sneaks and a water bottle, and trudged down to the family room and the personal virtual gym that is our Wii Fit. 

I powered up the tv, the speakers, and the Wii.

So far, so good.

I grabbed a remote, put out the balance board, and popped the disc in the console.

Still good.

I clicked on Wii Fit. I clicked on my avatar. I endured sarcastic nagging from Wii Fit: "Well, if it isn't Mommy," it said. And: "Your last workout was 31 days ago." 

As if I didn't know that.

Resisting the urge to smash The Little White Insulting Box (controlled rage is a powerful thing, and I have it in spades these days), I clicked through to begin the body test.

But instead of saying, "Starting up..." and asking me to "Step on," The Little White Insulting Box showed me The Black Screen of Death and told me my remote needs batteries. So I hauled myself upstairs and dug through the drawer in the kitchen where all batteries are kept. I found C's. I found nine-volts. I found a brand new package of like, twenty triple A's. I even found these teeny button cell batteries that I don't even know where the heck they came from. But I did not find any double A's.

OK. Whatever. 

So I trudged back downstairs and picked up a different remote that didn't need new batteries. 

Ha! 

But, since The First Remote was already synched with The Little White Insulting Box, it wouldn't recognize The Second Remote. 

Alrighty. So then, I plucked the supposedly dead batteries out of The First Remote to kill the connection, and tried again. Still, The Little White Insulting Box would not budge, and The Second Remote was showing signs of acute rejection issues. So I shut the whole shebang down, counted to 30, and booted it all back up again.

This time, The Little White Insulting Box accepted The Second Remote, which at that point was technically The Second First Remote, but whatever. 

Once again, I clicked to begin the body test.

No dice. I got The Black Screen of Death yet again, only this time it was the balance board that was out of juice.

And do you know what kind of batteries that balance board takes? 

Oh, yes. 

Double A's.

So I hurled some insults of my own right back at The Little White Insulting Box, shut the whole thing down and left it down, threw on a sweatshirt, fired up the music good and loud on my phone - which is always charged and which never insults me - and stomped out of the house for a long, long walk.