It's Here! It's Finally Here! Come Celebrate With Me, Won't You?

Great Horny Toads, Yosemite Sam! What IS That Thing? (And, Can I Eat It?)

So, the kiddos and I are surfing the grocery aisles for the second time this week.*

*Disclaimer: Yes, I know, I hate to shop. Yes, I know that going shopping two times in one week is Unnecessary Self-Torture. But here's the thing: my cupboards are prematurely bare, what with Lovely Girl and Handsome Boy growing two inches taller every time I turn around, hungrily scarfing up as much food as they can find while they forage in the fridge and comb through the cupboards. If we run out of food, they'll start gnawing on the furniture, and we can't have that. My husband C and I worked too hard to save up enough money to buy comfortable living room seating, only to have it meet its demise between the chomping jaws of our ravenous offspring. And so, shopping turns out to be The Lesser of Two Evils. Who knew?

Anyhoo, there we are, trolling the aisles for more sustenance for my Rapidly Growing Progeny, when we see this:

It makes us go, "Oooooh!" and "What is that thing?" and "Can I eat it?"

And then, it hits me: Science! Discovery learning! Experimentation! Nutrition! (What can I say? I'm a former teacher. We can't help it. And as any self-respecting teacher out there knows, Lesson + Food = Instant Rapt Attention.) So, in the interest of feeding my kiddos' brains as well as their bodies, I (carefully) pluck up this wild-looking produce, plop it into the flimsy plastic produce bag - which promptly rips to shreds, forcing a double-bag - drop it into our ever-fuller cart, and move on, relishing the incredulous looks from my two Eating Machines.

"You're buying that thing?" Lovely Girl asks.

"Of course," I say as I calmly peruse the potatoes.

Handsome Boy peers curiously at this (hopefully) edible aberration in our cart. "Cool!"

I smile to myself. They are so hooked. As I had hoped, the investigation is well underway here at Chez Wheedleton.

Care to join us? Ten points and a Virtual Pat on the Back to anyone who can tell me:

A. What is this pointy produce we've found?

and

B. How do ya eat one o' these dang things? (And yes, that is proper Scientific Vernacular, thankyewverymuch. It's the Summer Learning dialect, of course. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it.)

So, drop me a comment and let me know where your investigations take you. I'll wait a couple of days, then fill you in on what everyone discovers, in my next post.

So, On Account o' Today Bein' Pig Callers Day...

I bring you a gen-yew-ine, bonafide champeen circa 2008, with a bit of a twist on the typical:

June 11th is King Kamehameha Day!

If you're lucky enough to be anywhere in Hawaii today, then you get to party on through the festivities of King Kamehameha Day, and you're having a fabulous time! If you're not lucky enough to be anywhere in Hawaii today (like me), well, then you and I can live vicariously as I tell you all about what we're missing.

King Kamehameha Day is celebrated annually in Hawaii on June 11th, to honor the life and times of its greatest statesman, warrior, and king, known as Kamehameha the Great.

Some interesting historical facts on the day

• King Kamehameha Day was established by royal decree of the ruling great-grandson, Kamehameha V, in 1871, and first celebrated on June 11, 1872.
• It is one of the first holidays proclaimed by the Governer of Hawaii and the State Legislature upon Hawaii's transformation to statehood in 1959.
• King Kamehameha Day is the only holiday in the United States created to honor a once-reigning monarch in the only state that was once a kingdom.
• 2009 marks the 137th anniversary of the celebration of King Kamehameha Day.

Who was King Kamehameha?

At the time of his birth, Hawaiians believed Kamehameha fulfilled the traditional prophesy that there would be a male born who would vanquish all other chiefs, becoming the greatest of all Hawaiian chiefs, and that the sign of his birth would be a comet. Kamehameha's actual birthdate is not specifically known, but is sometimes listed as between 1748 and 1761, and some believe it was 1758 - a year that Halley's Comet was visible from Hawaii.

He spent his childhood being trained in warfare skills and preparing for the role of warrior-king of the Island of Hawaii. He went on to use these skills as the first king to unify the Hawai'ian Islands: Ni'ihau, Kaua'i, O'ahu, Moloka'i, Lānaʻi, Kaho'olawe, Maui, and Hawai'i. Once this was achieved, Kamehameha ruled in peace for the rest of his life: establishing trade with foreign countries, introducing new plant and animal life, promoting agriculture, and fostering industry. He was known as the "Napoleon of the Pacific" for his achievements in warfare and diplomacy, and died in 1819.

King Kamehameha Day Festivities

The earliest observances of the day included various competitions: horse racing, Velocipede races, sack races, wheelbarrow races, and foot races. In 1901, the tradition of the lei draping ceremony was added, where statues of King Kamehameha are decorated with leis.

In 1939, the King Kamehameha Celebration Commission was established and charged with organizing and running all festival activities. Today, those activities include:

• The traditional lei draping ceremony of King Kamehameha's statues
• The King Kamehameha Hula Competition, which has gained international attention
• The floral parades held at many locations throughout Hawaii, which include what has become a favorite feature: traditional pa'u riders. (The pa'u riders reperesent a royal court let by a queen on horseback, followed by princesses representing the 8 major islands of Hawaii and Molokini.)
• The Ho'olaule'a, which means "celebration," and is a big block party with food and music.
• The cultural exhibits set up throughout Kapi'olani Park, which are full of arts and crafts, games, sports, etc.
• And of course, there are feasts. (What celebration would be complete without those?)

So, if you're there, have a wonderful King Kamehameha Day! And if you're not, start saving your pennies - you have 364 days to pile 'em up so you can get to King Kamehameha Day 2010.

Aloha!

Sources:

Kamehameha Day (Wikipedia)

King Kamehameha Celebration (Library of Congress)

Today is King Kamehameha Day! (NowPublic.com)

Kamehameha I (Wikipedia)

King Kamehameha Day (Boston Globe Sunday Magazine)

Who Knew There Was a Word for THAT?

So, I was Googling around the other day - as I so often do to feed my need for learning about all things weird, wacky, and/or wonderful - and did a search for "funny words." I found some great ones and wish to share, so that you, too, can bulk up your vocabulary. Enjoy!

Hobbledehoy - an awkward, gawky youngster existing somewhere between a man and a boy. Ten points anyone who can find the word describing the female version of this. (Though we females are, in general, a graceful and sophisticated lot, there are those among us - ahem - who harbor a particular fondness for some well-delivered potty humor.)

Borborygmus - the sound of a belly that rumbles. As in, "Jaime's ever-louder borborygmus told his dad he'd better get that mac-n-cheese on the table - and quick."

Pogontrophy - the cultivation of a beard. As in, "Gerald Ottenbein gazed dejectedly at his reflection. His first-ever attempt at pogontrophy was not going at all well."

Tittle - the dot above the letter "i." Really? Who thinks up these things?

Callipygian - having a beautifully shaped behind, as in, "Persistent visits to the gym can help one to attain the callipygian ideal." I'm just not even gonna touch this one...

Defenestration - a noun meaning the throwing of a person or thing out a window. Yes, a person or thing. A friend and regular reader of this blog called my attention to Defenestration.com, where you can read all about a sculpture on the corner of 6th and Howard Street in San Francisco that shows defenestration in action (with things, though, not people). Very interesting, and worth a click - or a real live visit, if you're able.

And the final entry for today:

Floccinaucinihilipilification* - the act of judging something to be worthless. As in, "I find her floccinaucinihilipilification of the pursuit of social status quite refreshing."  According to Wikipedia, floccinaucinihilipilification is listed as "one of the longest words in the English language." And believe it or not, floccinaucinihilipilification can be found in the Oxford English Dictionary as far back as 1741. 

*You know, it's quite fun typing floccinaucinihilipilification. I even tried spelling it with only one "c," to see if Spell Check really has this ridiculously long word in its arsenal, or if my repeated typing of floccinaucinihilipilification just forced it into such a major conniption that it imploded, leaving not so much as a wisp of smoke behind. 

Guess what? Floccinaucinihilipilification is actually in there. 

Cool. 

The Consequences of Childhood Insecurities

I am five feet, nine inches tall. If I were a guy, that would be considered on the short side. Since I'm not a guy, I'm considered to be on the tall side, and have been so since elementary school. Well, except for my junior high years, when the other girls caught up to me for a while. (The junior high years. They're such an anomoly. I wish I could have just skipped them altogether...)

Anyway, if you, too, were on the tall side growing up, you - like me - had to wear floods far more often than your fragile psyche approved of. (You know, floods: pants that were most unfashionably several inches higher than the tops of your shoes.) I was so relieved when the early 80's rolled around, and it became the "it" thing in our school to wear funky striped socks with jeans rolled clear up to our knees. And when the legwarmer-with-jeans thing came into style, well, it was a beautiful thing. In fact, I think capris were invented by tall people who endured the ridicule of having to wear floods during their formative years. 

So, ever since I started making my own way in the world, I've made sure that every single pair of pants I buy comes clear down to the tops of my shoes. And if they actually drag the ground some...even better. And when laundry days come, I stretch every single pair of pants as long as I can every time they come out of the washer, then hang them on a rack to dry. It is the ultimate in flood insurance.

Which brings me to this morning. It's rainy here on the East Coast. Really, really, really rainy. So I pulled on my comfy, well-worn, and impressively long walking-to-the-bus-stop sweatpants, and the kiddos and I dutifully dodged puddles and tiptoed through the minefield of worms that cover the road between home and bus stop. Then I dutifully picked my way back through the puddles and worms as I headed back home. 

As soon as I got in the door, I kicked off my shoes and headed downstairs to grapple yet again with The Little White Insulting Box. After firing everything up, I walked back to stand on the Wii Fit board and looked down for a moment to steel myself against another round of insults, and...

Wait...

What is that?

Well, it seems that fabulously long, flood-insured pants actually do have a bit of a downside: there on the carpet wriggled a very bewildered worm that unwittingly hitched a ride inside Chez Wheedleton courtesy of the hem of my ground-dragging pants.

And I don't care. I will never wear floods again.

Bring it on, worms! 

Friday Funny

For all those Phineas and Ferb fans out there: