Friday, August 20, 2010

Author Spotlight: Dr. Cuthbert Soup

There is a lot to be said about (The One and Only) Dr. Cuthbert Soup. He is founder and president of the National Center for Unsolicited Advice. He has served as (un)official advisor to celebrities, religious leaders, and heads of state. He travels the globe, giving inspirational speeches to unsuspecting crowds. And, as if all of that were not illustrious enough, he has recently added children's book author to his credentials - with one book already out, and one soon to be published.

Yet, Dr. Soup has achieved these lofty positions in society from rather humble beginnings. Cuthbert Hubert Egbert Soup was born to Philbert and Roberta Soup, at the height of the Great Sausage Famine, in Vienna, Austria. At the age of 23, he dropped out of high school and moved to New York City, procuring employment as a smoke detector at the mall - a rather short-lived position, as he soon found himself replaced by a machine. He then nabbed a gig playing live elevator music, but that opportunity dissolved as well, when he was fired for his trombone hitting elevator patrons.

Deciding to further his education, Cuthbert Soup enrolled in Southwestern North Dakota State University, where he was a football standout for SWNDSU's Fighting Paperclips. In fact, he led the school to a national title, and remains to this day the only student in school history to both start at quarterback and play in the pep band - at the same time. It was after earning his PhD in Unsolicited Advice that he went on to found the National Center for Unsolicited Advice, unofficially dole out wisdom to the high and influential, and give speeches to the unsuspecting masses.

And now, he has added "author" to his resume. His first book, the humorous A Whole Nother Story, was published in January 2010. Dr. Soup was asked in a interview whether he found it "easy and natural" to write humor. "Actually I find it difficult not to write humorously," he said, telling the story of the time he procured his first writing job - another position from which he was summarily fired. The job? Writing obituaries for the local newspaper. "Apparently," explains Dr. Soup, "there is 'nothing funny' about spontaneous combustion."

Dr. Cuthbert Soup lives in a semisecret location, somewhere in North America. He shares his home with his dog, Kevin, and his two pet snails, Gooey and Squishy. When he isn't advising, speaking, or writing, Dr. Soup enjoys cajoling, sneering, fencing, flossing, and practicing the trombone in crowded areas.

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