Thursday, April 22, 2010

Hearken! Talk Like Shakespeare Day Approacheth.

Greetings, mistress or sirrah! Allow me to tell thee my name: Eclipse Firebright. Thou canst perchance tell I am not thy regular blogger, and t'would you believe it? I'm not! I am, rather, the belov'd daughter of this blog's most noble usual scribe. So get it through your head, you idle-headed foot-licker! I am guest blogging for Take Thy Daughters and Sons to Work Day, and hark, for there is a reason for my curious (and partially insulting) tongue. April 23rd is Talk Like Shakespeare Day!

Indeed, t'will be Talk Like Shakespeare Day, introduced to the world in 2009 by Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley in honor of what many historians believe to be the Bard's birthday - April 23rd. Many of you may have seen or read his great works, and noticed the curious dialogue. In fact, Shakespeare is single-handedly responsible for introducing over 2,000 words to the English language!

Want to join the fun? Now you can, using a few easy steps from the TLSD official website:
  1. Say "thou" or "thee" instead of "you," and "ye" for "y'all".
  2. All dudes are sirrahs, girls mistresses, and friends cousin.
  3. No longer call tormentors jerks. Try jackanapes, canker-blossoms, and poisonous bunch back'd toads.
  4. Don't use "it", only use "t", like 'tis, 'twill, and 'twon't.
  5. When in doubt, add "eth."

Now that you know how to talk like Shakespeare, you must learn to insult like him. Yes, insult. Ol' Bill and his Elizabethan era buds thought up some pretty potent insults, and enjoyed them immensely. If you want to study up on the insults slung by one of history's biggest meany mouths, try The Encyclopedia of Immaturity, by the Klutz company. Page 169 has a whole do-it-yourself chart of ready made Shakespearean insults. Need a comeback fast? Head on over to Shakespearean Insult Generator, which you can use to get the perfect insult in seconds.

So now, thou hast mastered talking like Shakespeare. Not bad for a spleeny folly-fallen bladder! As the greatest Bard and insulter in history once penned, "All's well that ends well..."

Web Sources:

Book Source:
Title: The Encyclopedia of Immaturity: How to Never Grow Up - The Complete Guide
Authors/Illustrators: The Editors of Klutz
Pages: 412
Reading Level: Ages 8+
Publisher and Date: Klutz, a subsidiary of Scholastic Inc.
Edition: School Market Edition
Language: English
Published In: United States
Price: $19.95
ISBN-10: 1591745438
ISBN-13: 978-1591745433

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