Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Random Wonderings on a Summer Afternoon

Three of us here at Chez Wheedleton have always had slightly warped senses of humor. I make no apologies. We come by it naturally. See, the Ten-Year-Old-Boy Funny Bone has been genetically and environmentally passed down from me to the kiddos, much to the chagrin of my ever-patient husband, C. (However, we are oh, so gradually wearing him down: lately he's been joining the fray. Who knew?)

Plus, living Slightly Out in the Boonies has necessitated an inordinate amount of idle time in the car when running errands. And as we wander from errand place to errand place to errand place, our minds tend to wander from the grin-worthy, to the moderately funny, to the patently absurd, the longer our behinds are belted into the car seats.


And so, our Slightly Warped Senses of Humor have morphed into Moderately Warped Senses of Humor. I blame the idle car time for the escalation. Ahem.

Aaaaanyway, to prove my point, let me give you a little snippet of conversational life in the Wheedleton-Mobile: there we were, riding along, on our way home from our weekly grocery run, when the conversation turned to what happened in the latest episode of the Cartoon Network show, Dude, What Would Happen? If you've never seen it, yes, it's what you think: three dudes sitting around wondering what would happen if [insert absurd event here], then trying it out. (We're easily entertained.) And of course, the DWWH conversation segued nicely into a little chat about our own What If Wonders:



What If...a million-bazillion-gazillion-infinity-and-beyond flies all got together in one place and broke wind...all at the same time?




and:


What If...you gathered up all the dung from every elephant in the world - as much as they made in one day - and stacked it all up, one plop on top of the other? How high would the Pile-O-Poo be?



and finally:



What If... everything and everybody in the whole entire world...all passed gas at the same time?



Each What If raised an increasingly hoot-filled discussion of all the likely scenarios that might play out, should Wonder become Reality. By the time we got to the last What If, we were all wiping hysterical tears from our eyes and gasping for breath...

from the guffaws, not from actual gas...

at least, not this time...