Jokes:
Q. Why did Tigger look inside the toilet?
A. He was looking for Pooh!
Q. What do you call a short psychic who just escaped
from jail?
A. A small medium at large...
Q. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A. 'Cause they have big fingers.
This one is for C:
Q. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A. Nacho Cheese!
Q. What did the snail say while sitting on the turtle?
A. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
A story:
A man was in the supermarket, pushing a cart with a screaming, bellowing baby in it.
The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert. Don't scream, Albert. Don't yell, Albert. Keep calm, Albert."
A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son Albert."
The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."
Another story:
A Sunday School preschool teacher was talking with his little charges about Jesus. He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in Heaven."
Mary answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for several seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
"Well," Johnny said, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, 'Good Lord, are you still in there?' "
One last story:
One weekend, a nurse was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he fell off a playground slide and hit his head. Worried he might have a concussion, she checked him all night. Every hour, she gently shook him and asked, "What's your name?" Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she entered the room.
When she went in at 5 AM, she found something white on his forehead. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to his head.
It read: "My name is Daniel."
Sources:
*UPDATE: For more International Joke Day fun, visit my 2010 post: A Day Devoted to Giggles, Guffaws and Hahaha's
