Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Huh. I Write About Toilet Paper More Than I Thought.

August 26th is a day to honor that item which we all use several times a day (or at least I sure hope we all do), but we don't give much thought to - at least until that awful moment when we reach for it, only to find an empty cardboard tube. And not a spare roll in sight.

That's right. Once again, Hooray! It's Toilet Paper Day! Since I already wrote about it last year, I thought I would link back to it for anyone who missed it the first time around. G'head. Click the link for a look-see. I'll wait...

Back now? OK. So then, on a hunch, I scrolled up to this blog's search box and typed in "toilet paper."

Really? I thought, when the results popped up. Do I really write about TP so very much? Then I scrolled down through the posts.

Oh. Yep. I do.

But I'm not in the least surprised. Not really. In my defense, I do have a somewhat, er, regressed, sense of humor, Number One. (Read all about it here, and here, to name just a couple.) And Number Two (snort!), it's all circumstantial.

See, the December '08 TP post all centered around my Pavlovian response of making sure to buy lots and lots of toilet paper every time my parents are supposed to visit. That one isn't my fault. You'll see when you read it. I was conditioned, for goodness' sake. (Although, one could argue that said conditioning would never have occurred had I been better prepared for inclement weather on the day of the incident that has forever triggered mass TP purchase upon parental visitation. But, whatever.)

The next one, the New Year's Day '09 TP post, hinged on the Pavlovian TP post. If that Pavlovian TP post (which was totally not my fault) had not happened, I wouldn't have even been writing at all about TP in the NYD TP post, because my parents would never have given me what most would say is a rather unusual choice in holiday gift giving.

Still with me? OK. Moving on to the January 15, '09 TP post: the advertisement they must have custom-designed just for me. Now, this one...this one...well, I have no excuse for this one. It all goes back to my Moderately Warped Sense of Humor (scroll down to yesterday's post).

Ahem. Let's just keep rolling, shall we, to the last post I have (for now) that's labeled with "toilet paper." This TP story is all wrapped around a holiday again - Valentine's Day, this time. And, well, it involves, erm, my parents visiting...and, uh, visitation preparations, and...yeah, pretty much right back to the whole Pavlov thing, and conditioning, and it's all just a whole big, huge, ginormous vicious cycle, you see?

So I'm trapped, wrapped, and practically swaddled in TP. Not that I mind, given the state of my mind. Besides, I really have no choice. The darn stuff just seems to stick to me - at least figuratively - whether I like it or not.

Oh, and one last thing: since I've mentioned my parents so much in this post, I feel it's only fair to give some mention to my husband C's parents, too. Or at least one of them. Turns out, Toilet Paper Day is also the same day as my mother-in-law's birthday. Oh, Happy Coincidence! And seeing as how this year is a milestone birthday for her, I know exactly what we're getting her.

Now, how are we gonna fit all 60 rolls of toilet paper in the trunk?


  1. You could get 60 people to send her a roll. I know I am good for 7 or so people. Might want to do this to my parents as well. >;)

  2. I don't think you can overstress the importance of toilet paper.

    My mom used to hate it when we were teens and a house got tp'ed. She didn't like for anyone to waste toilet paper. Oh, Mom.


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